The first Father’s Day after my ex and I split I got him a card. Our daughter was only 3 then, so it wasn’t from her – it was from me. A gesture of goodwill. A note to say, “Hey, let’s be friends.” It was a really nice card, the kind you pay seven bucks for at Papyrus. I’d made a thoughtful choice, too. The card featured a BBQ theme, because I know how much my ex enjoys the power that comes along with weilding large, hot, sharp metal prongs.
I gave my ex the card when he picked our daughter up the Friday before Father’s Day. He didn’t open it, which seemed fair, since he wanted to open it on the holiday itself. When my ex returned our child from their Father’s Day weekend together, I said, “What’d you think of the card?” He told me he lost it. And least he had the decency not to fake it, but thank God there wasn’t a gift card inside. I found the unopened greeting a week later inside my daughter’s backpack. And I haven’t given my ex a Father’s Day gift since.
Oh sure, this year I bought him a gift card to Blockbuster for Christmas, but that’s because my daughter was spending the holiday with him, and I didn’t want her to have to go without entertainment. I doubt it was ever used. If you’re wondering about what my ex does for me on holidays, don’t bother. While we were married, I was lucky to get a card for even the most monumental occasions. This year, for Mother’s Day, I got a slew of harrassing messages left on my phone while I was out celebrating the day with my daughter. No, no expensive brunch for us. But we did take a special trip to Trader Joe’s for the “good” produce. ”Hey, Happy Mother’s Day. I’d like to talk to A, give me a call.” (20 minutes later…) ”Happy Mother’s Day. You are the mother of A after all, so…. call me.” (20 minutes later…) ”I want to talk, call me.” (20 minutes later…) ”I WANT ACCESS TO MY CHILD!” All in the span of one trip for groceries. (Happy Mother’s Day?) When we returned the calls, I offered to schedule a time each day to talk so he wouldn’t keep blowin’ up my phone, but he denied. Quelle surprise!
My ex will get something from my daughter for Father’s Day, of course, thanks to her kindergarten teacher. The kids made Father’s Day gifts in school, which makes me feel thankful that my child has a relationship with her father. I remember what it was like to be one of a handful of kids making a Father’s Day gift for their uncle or grandpa. I can imagine the sinking feeling a child who doesn’t really have any men in his/her life must feel when the class project focuses on Dad being Number One. Should Mother’s Day and Father’s Day even be about gift-giving? (The founder of Mother’s Day certainly didn’t think so.) All I wanted for Mother’s Day this year was to spend a beautifully relaxed, peacefully enjoyable day with my lovely little daughter, and for the most part, that’s what happened. I’m guessing my ex is planning on much the same for Father’s Day, and I’ll do my part to ensure that’s how his day goes. He can, however, buy his own fancy BBQ card, thank you very much.
I gave my ex the card when he picked our daughter up the Friday before Father’s Day. He didn’t open it, which seemed fair, since he wanted to open it on the holiday itself. When my ex returned our child from their Father’s Day weekend together, I said, “What’d you think of the card?” He told me he lost it. And least he had the decency not to fake it, but thank God there wasn’t a gift card inside. I found the unopened greeting a week later inside my daughter’s backpack. And I haven’t given my ex a Father’s Day gift since.
My ex will get something from my daughter for Father’s Day, of course, thanks to her kindergarten teacher. The kids made Father’s Day gifts in school, which makes me feel thankful that my child has a relationship with her father. I remember what it was like to be one of a handful of kids making a Father’s Day gift for their uncle or grandpa. I can imagine the sinking feeling a child who doesn’t really have any men in his/her life must feel when the class project focuses on Dad being Number One. Should Mother’s Day and Father’s Day even be about gift-giving? (The founder of Mother’s Day certainly didn’t think so.) All I wanted for Mother’s Day this year was to spend a beautifully relaxed, peacefully enjoyable day with my lovely little daughter, and for the most part, that’s what happened. I’m guessing my ex is planning on much the same for Father’s Day, and I’ll do my part to ensure that’s how his day goes. He can, however, buy his own fancy BBQ card, thank you very much.
No comments:
Post a Comment